Are You a Problem-Solver or a People-Developer?
Have you ever experienced this dilemma?
At one of our recent LinkedIn audio events, a member of the audience asked me a question that highlights a common challenge among my clients and students:
“I lead a team as the owner of a small consulting firm. If I see a recurring issue with somebody or realize there’s something they need to learn, I try to jump in right away to give feedback. What are the best ways as the firm’s leader (and presumably the leading expert) to coach individuals through a problem rather than give them the solution?”
One of the biggest dilemmas for leaders stepping into a coaching role with their team members is why, when, and how to coach instead of direct.
When the leader is an expert on the subject and taking action is urgent, the easiest thing to do is to give the solution. While it may be the fastest way forward, telling your team member the answer doesn’t build their capacity for future problem-solving.
And that’s precisely why you might choose to coach them instead—to build capacity.
How do you stop yourself from launching into advice mode, and what is an easy way to transition into more of a coaching response?
Step 1: Clarify Your Goal
Start with clarity about the Goal of the conversation. If you’re prone to giving advice, the unspoken goal may be “speed.” Another might be “get it right the first time.”
Those goals aren’t wrong! But they don’t build capacity or confidence within your team.
PARADOX #1
Getting to the “right” solution is often more urgent than developing your team.
AND
If you (and your team) are not developing, someday you won’t have the capacity to respond to urgent issues.
My teacher, Neil Stroul, said it best: “When we give someone the answer, we bind them to their insecurities.”
If you want to have the final say on every action your team members take, by all means, keep telling them what to do. You’ll not only be “binding them to their insecurities,” you’ll be binding yourself to lower-level problem-solving. Forever.
Forget about scaling your business. Forget about leading at the highest levels you’re capable of.
Step 2: Clarify Their Goal
Once you’re clear about your Goal, find out their goal. What do they want to get out of the conversation? What’s the ideal? Why does it matter? What if nothing changes? In other words…why are we talking? Get absolute clarity on their goal, beyond the quick or superficial response.
Step 3: Understand Their Perspective
Truly work to see the situation through their eyes…their Reality. How have they been looking at the problem? What have they tried so far? On a scale of 1-10, how effective has that been? What’s been hard about this? What feels like it’s working? Where are they feeling unsure?
PARADOX #2
If you’re truly the expert, you will see things they can’t see yet.
AND
You’ll never see the whole situation as they do.
You aren’t in the situation yourself, so you don’t know the “right” answer. You only know what your instinct is.
If you attempt to overlay your perspective on top of theirs, they won’t get it. They may say they do, but they’d feel stupid saying otherwise.
Step #4
Expanding a person’s perspective is one of the toughest skills to master. As a directing leader, you might urge them to do it your way. Instead, what would it be like if you encouraged them to collect data? It might sound like this:
“Have you ever tried doing X?”
“What if you try it just once, collect data on it, and see how it goes? Evaluate how it feels to you, what seems to work, what doesn’t, and what the customer thinks about it. Then, let’s talk about it.”
PARADOX #3
Growth happens outside of our comfort zone.
AND
Pushing someone way outside their comfort zone can shut learning down.
Approach the “collect data” challenge with curiosity, NOT with attachment. It won’t work if you are attached to the idea that they will do it or that it will work for them. You want them to be curious…so you must be curious, too.
Transitioning from the Expert Advisor role to the Expert Coach role is tricky. It’s not just about asking more questions. It’s about asking better questions that are rooted in a different mindset.
The Easy Button
The next time someone on your team asks, “What should I do?” remember these three paradoxes, and begin by establishing the Goal. The rest will flow from there.
Whenever I’m in a situation where I feel responsible for an outcome that someone else has to achieve, that’s exactly where I start. Not only does it work every time, I typically get a better result than if I’d tried to control the conversation and next steps.
Try it for yourself, and let me know how it goes!